1
00:00:00,543 --> 00:00:04,173
Earl, time to play
Marry, Sleep With or Kill: Diner Edition.

2
00:00:04,338 --> 00:00:05,918
Ladies, Booth 1.

3
00:00:06,089 --> 00:00:09,179
Sleep with, sleep with, slept with.

4
00:00:09,801 --> 00:00:10,851
Nice.

5
00:00:11,010 --> 00:00:13,430
Okay, Max. The dude at Table 10.

6
00:00:13,596 --> 00:00:17,016
Is there a "throw food in the cage
and run" category?

7
00:00:17,684 --> 00:00:21,404
Hey, jump in. We're playing
Marry, Sleep With or Kill: Diner Edition.

8
00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:26,029
No. If I slept with anyone in this diner,
I'd kill myself.

9
00:00:26,484 --> 00:00:30,454
Even in a fictional scenario,
I cannot permit myself to go there.

10
00:00:30,698 --> 00:00:34,578
Girl, you'd take the fun
out of a punch bowl full of cocaine.

11
00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:36,618
Okay, fine.

12
00:00:37,036 --> 00:00:39,206
Sleep with Earl, marry you.

13
00:00:39,372 --> 00:00:42,592
Not us, jeez. What are you, a freak?

14
00:00:42,752 --> 00:00:45,842
I feel uncomfortable, Caroline.

15
00:00:46,005 --> 00:00:48,585
Like I don't know how
to look at you anymore.

16
00:00:49,633 --> 00:00:52,933
Now I can only see you in a creepy lady tux.

17
00:00:53,219 --> 00:00:54,799
You said it was just a game.

18
00:00:54,972 --> 00:00:57,142
I'm not in love with you. Back off.

19
00:00:58,768 --> 00:01:01,148
Heh. It was just a joke, Earl.

20
00:01:01,311 --> 00:01:05,901
The things we say in jest, darling.
The things we say in jest.

21
00:01:16,701 --> 00:01:19,911
Oh, my God. Look at the RSVP list
for our opening party.

22
00:01:20,079 --> 00:01:23,459
-Max's Homemade Cupcakes is at capacity.
-We might even be overbooked.

23
00:01:23,626 --> 00:01:27,916
Because in my experience, even when guys
say they're not gonna come, they do.

24
00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:33,682
Caroline, Booth 2 has been waiting
for service for 10 minutes.

25
00:01:33,843 --> 00:01:38,393
Han knows how frustrating that is because
he's been waiting to be serviced for years.

26
00:01:39,599 --> 00:01:44,349
Not that it's any of your business, Max,
but I have a very active sex life.

27
00:01:46,731 --> 00:01:49,531
So then, Han, will you be bringing
a date tomorrow night?

28
00:01:49,734 --> 00:01:52,114
Ah. No.

29
00:01:52,737 --> 00:01:57,027
You do understand
that sex involves two people, right?

30
00:01:57,242 --> 00:02:00,502
And that one of those people
has to be you.

31
00:02:01,496 --> 00:02:06,126
What is all this dirty talk?
This is a diner, not a dirty-talking place.

32
00:02:06,334 --> 00:02:09,594
Sorry, I know we still work here at night.
I'll go to the booth.

33
00:02:09,754 --> 00:02:12,094
We were just talking about
our big opening party.

34
00:02:12,258 --> 00:02:15,338
All you ever talk about
is your big opening.

35
00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:18,182
Now who has the potty mouth?

36
00:02:23,185 --> 00:02:24,805
I need your guest-list names.

37
00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:28,188
I'm still waiting for them to confirm
so just put me down for 10.

38
00:02:28,356 --> 00:02:31,276
Okay, but I need their names ASAP.
I'm running a tight door.

39
00:02:31,443 --> 00:02:33,993
I got a bouncer from a local club
to donate his time.

40
00:02:34,153 --> 00:02:36,703
I told him it was a charity event for eczema.

41
00:02:37,324 --> 00:02:39,994
What? We'll make a big donation
when we're successful...

42
00:02:40,159 --> 00:02:42,949
...but for tomorrow, every now and then,
scratch a little.

43
00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:47,416
Hi, everybody, I got great news.

44
00:02:47,585 --> 00:02:51,375
What? You finally found the thing
we lost in there?

45
00:02:51,881 --> 00:02:55,931
No. I knew we should have
tied a string on it.

46
00:02:56,468 --> 00:02:59,468
No, look. I got a fax from Poland.

47
00:02:59,638 --> 00:03:02,348
My dream house is done.
Isn't it amazing?

48
00:03:02,724 --> 00:03:07,154
It is amazing.
I haven't seen a fax in, like, five years.

49
00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:11,324
Sophie, it's so pretty. Look at all the sweet
gingerbread woodwork on the porch.

50
00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:16,605
Oh, I'm so excited. I'm going to be on
Air Poland flight right after big party.

51
00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:20,992
You are going to Poland? That's news.
And when were you going to tell me?

52
00:03:21,159 --> 00:03:24,949
Uh, now. Yeah, I'm gonna
be gone for a month.

53
00:03:25,122 --> 00:03:30,502
Oh, okay. It will be good to have some
time away from the old ball and chain.

54
00:03:30,669 --> 00:03:36,549
Yeah, he's not talking about me.
We use a ball and chain in our love making.

55
00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:39,886
Yeah, that's the thing I can't find.

56
00:03:42,139 --> 00:03:43,309
All right.

57
00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:46,523
Okay. Yeah, well, bye-bye.

58
00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:50,517
I'll see you tomorrow night
at my big going-away party.

59
00:03:50,688 --> 00:03:53,028
Uh, Sophie, the party's for our
cupcake business.

60
00:03:53,192 --> 00:03:57,242
Oh, see,
this is what I don't like you so much.

61
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:03,374
Guys, thanks again for donating your time.

62
00:04:03,534 --> 00:04:07,874
It's fundraisers like this that will
help put an end to undescended testicles.

63
00:04:09,792 --> 00:04:14,002
Hi. I'd like to meet the owner of this
awesome and totally cool cupcake shop.

64
00:04:14,170 --> 00:04:16,260
Oh, never mind, that's me.

65
00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:18,513
Max, you got a blowout.

66
00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:22,885
Yeah, I figured I'd finally see
what all the fuss about getting blown is.

67
00:04:24,305 --> 00:04:26,765
Oh, hi. We're not quite ready for guests yet.

68
00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:30,064
Girl, I'm your doorman, Nevel.

69
00:04:30,396 --> 00:04:32,356
Oh, I'm confused.
I thought my doorman was--

70
00:04:32,523 --> 00:04:36,323
Straight, white, and boring? He was.
Then boring came down with the flu...

71
00:04:36,485 --> 00:04:41,815
...now you got gay, black, and definitely
not boring. So, what's the charity tonight?

72
00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:44,080
-Eczema.
-Undescended testicles.

73
00:04:44,283 --> 00:04:47,753
People with eczema
and undescended testicles.

74
00:04:48,122 --> 00:04:51,712
Lord, child, that is a cross to bear.

75
00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:56,169
Get me the door list and let's make
those poor itchy boys some money.

76
00:04:58,090 --> 00:05:00,180
Another fake charity?

77
00:05:00,341 --> 00:05:03,511
You've got some balls,
even if they aren't descended.

78
00:05:03,678 --> 00:05:05,008
Max, we so lucked out.

79
00:05:05,180 --> 00:05:08,480
Nothing says successful party
like a bitchy gay doorman.

80
00:05:09,268 --> 00:05:11,518
Give me your guest names.
I'll write them down.

81
00:05:11,687 --> 00:05:17,027
Okay, fine. Put down Tommy, Dylan,
Robbie, Johnny--

82
00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:19,032
Robbie and Johnny?

83
00:05:19,194 --> 00:05:22,164
Wait, Max,
are these all your ex-boyfriends?

84
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:23,952
Perhaps.

85
00:05:24,867 --> 00:05:28,617
Max, the invited guests were
all supposed to be business contacts.

86
00:05:28,786 --> 00:05:31,786
This is why I didn't tell you sooner.
You're a control freak.

87
00:05:31,956 --> 00:05:37,126
And, for the record, these guys
have all had contact with my business.

88
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:41,048
You're using our launch party
to get back at ex-boyfriends?

89
00:05:41,216 --> 00:05:44,256
Uh, yeah. That's what success is for.

90
00:05:44,470 --> 00:05:46,890
To say "suck it"
to people who dumped you.

91
00:05:47,055 --> 00:05:51,095
"See my blown-out hair? Suck it.
See my cool cupcake shop? Suck it.

92
00:05:51,268 --> 00:05:54,688
See these in this blouse?
You wish you could suck it."

93
00:05:57,066 --> 00:05:59,986
And here,
it is not just boyfriends on my list...

94
00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:03,491
...I also invited the lady from Staples
who gives me attitude.

95
00:06:03,654 --> 00:06:05,074
She can suck it too.

96
00:06:06,658 --> 00:06:10,748
Fine, but how is inviting Johnny
and his new wife a victory?

97
00:06:10,913 --> 00:06:13,503
Oh, like this:
"Hi, Mrs. Johnny, nice to meet you.

98
00:06:13,665 --> 00:06:17,495
You got him, but I got these and all this,
so suck it."

99
00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:20,420
I'm not so sure this is healthy.

100
00:06:20,588 --> 00:06:21,798
Are you kidding me?

101
00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:25,007
This is the healthiest thing
I've done in my life.

102
00:06:25,343 --> 00:06:28,353
I even thought about inviting my mother
to come and suck it...

103
00:06:28,514 --> 00:06:32,814
...but then she'd realize I didn't commit
suicide two years ago like my note said.

104
00:06:33,435 --> 00:06:34,725
I'm about ready to open.

105
00:06:34,894 --> 00:06:39,824
Shouldn't we be putting up some testicle
banners or scrotum posters or something?

106
00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:45,487
Also, there's a cute blond boy out here
asking for you that I'm about to eat alive. Unh!

107
00:06:45,656 --> 00:06:47,616
That's Andy with the free bar stuff.

108
00:06:47,783 --> 00:06:52,163
Go. I'm gonna stay here and practice
my suck-it face for a while. How's this?

109
00:06:53,247 --> 00:06:56,707
That look is so much more "suck it"
with the straight hair.

110
00:06:56,875 --> 00:06:58,875
I know, right? Heh.

111
00:07:00,129 --> 00:07:01,669
-There's my cute boyfriend.
ANDY: Hey.

112
00:07:01,838 --> 00:07:03,878
How did everything go at Spike's Liquor?

113
00:07:04,048 --> 00:07:06,968
I got confused about what charity
we're pretending to help...

114
00:07:07,136 --> 00:07:10,636
...so I told him my sister's homeless
and my balls are up inside me.

115
00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:14,225
Now we just gotta hope
Spike's not the chatty type.

116
00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:16,391
Oop, they just dropped.

117
00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:21,475
Hey, Andy, question.
What does this face say to you?

118
00:07:23,235 --> 00:07:26,855
-I don't know, like, "I'm cool."
-So close. Guess again.

119
00:07:27,072 --> 00:07:31,662
Okay, like, "I'm better than you."
No, like, "I'm it and you can suck it."

120
00:07:31,826 --> 00:07:35,706
Yes. Yes. They can suck it. Ha, ha.

121
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:39,786
-Is that what you're wearing tonight?
-Yeah. No?

122
00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:42,459
A sweater?
I always saw you in a suit tonight.

123
00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:45,629
Run home and put on a suit.
Hurry, people are starting to come.

124
00:07:46,757 --> 00:07:48,837
Uh, Max is still making the face.

125
00:07:49,218 --> 00:07:53,888
I know. I can't stop.
I've waited my whole life to make this face.

126
00:07:56,726 --> 00:08:00,146
Max, look. Our business is open.

127
00:08:00,314 --> 00:08:01,984
Wait, wait, wait. Not quite.

128
00:08:02,608 --> 00:08:06,608
In five, four, three, two....

129
00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:09,278
BOTH:
Whoo!

130
00:08:10,699 --> 00:08:14,239
-Name, please.
-Sophie Kuchenski. Guest of honor.

131
00:08:14,452 --> 00:08:16,332
(ALL CHEER)

132
00:08:16,495 --> 00:08:19,825
-How many in your party?
-See? I knew it was my party.

133
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,130
(ALL CHEER)

134
00:08:22,793 --> 00:08:24,463
(POP MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS)

135
00:08:24,629 --> 00:08:28,629
There's a line all the way down the hall
and I've given out, like, 100 business cards.

136
00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:31,390
You know what that means?
Being poor can suck it.

137
00:08:31,677 --> 00:08:32,967
(CHUCKLES)

138
00:08:33,138 --> 00:08:36,728
The fire marshal just dropped by
and told me we can't let more people in...

139
00:08:36,892 --> 00:08:38,562
...till some of these folks go out.

140
00:08:38,894 --> 00:08:41,484
Nevel, none of my guests
are even here yet.

141
00:08:41,647 --> 00:08:45,777
It is important you let in any guy who looks
hot but you know would screw you over.

142
00:08:45,942 --> 00:08:47,402
Is there any other type?

143
00:08:48,861 --> 00:08:50,321
I'll go get more cupcakes.

144
00:08:51,657 --> 00:08:54,277
-Hey. How's it going so far, babe?
-What are you doing?

145
00:08:54,451 --> 00:08:57,751
-I told you to come in a suit.
-I know, but I like what I'm wearing.

146
00:08:58,163 --> 00:09:00,673
So you're telling me
you'll just do what you want...

147
00:09:00,831 --> 00:09:02,881
...no matter how much I try
to control you?

148
00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:04,460
Yeah.

149
00:09:04,919 --> 00:09:07,549
That is so freaking hot.

150
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:09,468
Caroline.

151
00:09:10,259 --> 00:09:12,429
Caroline, I can't get in.

152
00:09:13,886 --> 00:09:18,056
Caroline, less kissing, more noticing me.

153
00:09:19,308 --> 00:09:22,598
See, I know her and my name's on the list.
Han Lee.

154
00:09:22,770 --> 00:09:25,610
Honey, if I was a fat girl
and your name was Sara Lee...

155
00:09:25,774 --> 00:09:28,154
...you still wouldn't be getting in.

156
00:09:28,317 --> 00:09:31,107
We are at capacity.

157
00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:34,909
-Hey. Robbie. On the list.
-Go right on in, child.

158
00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:40,866
Uh, hello?

159
00:09:42,039 --> 00:09:45,289
Do you need a dictionary
to define the word "capacity"?

160
00:09:45,711 --> 00:09:50,381
I have clear orders. Only very hot men
who look like trouble. Mm-hm.

161
00:09:55,971 --> 00:09:57,971
Excuse me,
you know where I can find Max?

162
00:09:58,139 --> 00:09:59,599
Yes, she's in the back.

163
00:09:59,765 --> 00:10:02,555
-Cool.
-Robbie, it's me, Caroline.

164
00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:04,147
Oh, sorry.

165
00:10:04,312 --> 00:10:06,362
Did we have sex?

166
00:10:06,523 --> 00:10:09,073
What? No. I'm Max's roommate.

167
00:10:09,359 --> 00:10:13,109
Oh, Max had a roommate?
I was pretty much wasted the whole time.

168
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:15,409
I remember, like, nothing.

169
00:10:15,573 --> 00:10:18,533
But I'm in the program now,
so it's one day at a time.

170
00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:21,659
-Well, Max is through there.
-Cool.

171
00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:23,500
But we did have sex, right?

172
00:10:23,831 --> 00:10:25,541
No, we did not have sex.

173
00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:27,920
You offered, but I wasn't into you.

174
00:10:28,086 --> 00:10:29,746
Ha, ha. Yeah, right.

175
00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:37,351
-Hey, Max.
-Robbie.

176
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:42,388
Why you making that face?
You have a toothache or something?

177
00:10:42,558 --> 00:10:46,978
No. It's-- I'm successful now
and this is my shop.

178
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:48,897
Oh. Cool.

179
00:10:49,066 --> 00:10:53,646
So, listen, I'm an alcoholic now
and I did a lot of stuff that wasn't cool...

180
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:58,030
...and I came here because the program says
that I have to make almonds.

181
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:02,454
-Almonds?
-Yeah.

182
00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:04,460
You mean "amends"?

183
00:11:05,414 --> 00:11:12,054
Cool. So, look, I cheated on you
behind your back, like, every day.

184
00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:16,545
Well, um, we don't have to go into all this now,
it's kind of a big night for me.

185
00:11:16,842 --> 00:11:21,312
And I stole money from you too.
Like, every time we had sex.

186
00:11:22,057 --> 00:11:24,227
But we had a lot of sex.

187
00:11:24,393 --> 00:11:27,563
Heh. I know. I stole a lot of money.

188
00:11:28,522 --> 00:11:31,612
Well, this just went from suck it
to it sucks...

189
00:11:31,817 --> 00:11:33,107
...so lift up your shirt.

190
00:11:33,485 --> 00:11:35,605
I gotta get something out of tonight.

191
00:11:37,822 --> 00:11:38,992
Money well spent.

192
00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:47,334
Just found out I've paid for more sex
than an Arab businessman.

193
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:50,880
Maybe this wasn't the healthiest thing
I could have done.

194
00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:54,003
What do you wanna do?
Should I tell Nevel to keep Johnny out?

195
00:11:55,631 --> 00:11:57,131
Too late. Way too late.

196
00:11:57,634 --> 00:12:00,934
-Max.
-Hi.

197
00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:03,559
You look even better than I remember.

198
00:12:03,722 --> 00:12:07,272
Well, I should, I just got blown. Heh.

199
00:12:08,019 --> 00:12:09,559
Suck it. Suck it. Suck it.

200
00:12:11,188 --> 00:12:12,318
This place is awesome.

201
00:12:12,481 --> 00:12:15,691
It's like you're telling everybody
who ever doubted you to suck it.

202
00:12:15,860 --> 00:12:19,200
No, we're not petty like that.

203
00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:22,244
Hey, it's a little loud in here.
You wanna talk in the hall?

204
00:12:22,783 --> 00:12:26,503
Uh, wait, let me take a look around
my big successful shop. Yeah, I can go.

205
00:12:27,788 --> 00:12:28,868
CAROLINE:
Keep your eye on Max.

206
00:12:29,039 --> 00:12:32,879
That guy in the Brad Pitt glasses
broke her heart and I don't trust him.

207
00:12:33,711 --> 00:12:35,671
Max, you look insanely good.

208
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:39,880
Thanks. Now maybe you could repeat
that to your wife, and where is she?

209
00:12:40,509 --> 00:12:42,049
We never got married.

210
00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:44,888
Max. Max. I can't get in.

211
00:12:45,056 --> 00:12:47,726
Wait, what do you mean,
you didn't get married?

212
00:12:48,143 --> 00:12:51,903
Johnny. Hey, Johnny, I'm back here.

213
00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:55,440
I didn't know if I was gonna tell you,
but then I got your invite--

214
00:12:55,609 --> 00:12:57,819
Max, Johnny, I'm back here.

215
00:12:59,488 --> 00:13:02,198
-Should we just go say hi?
-Uh, no, not right now.

216
00:13:02,407 --> 00:13:05,577
Max, Max, I can't get in.

217
00:13:05,744 --> 00:13:08,254
Max. Johnny.

218
00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:10,865
Max, I've been thinking about you a lot.

219
00:13:11,041 --> 00:13:15,591
Stop. Before you say anything else,
I just have to say....

220
00:13:15,754 --> 00:13:16,804
I need candy.

221
00:13:20,424 --> 00:13:22,224
What were you saying?

222
00:13:22,427 --> 00:13:25,427
I called off the wedding
because she wasn't the one.

223
00:13:25,931 --> 00:13:27,521
You wanna know how I know that?

224
00:13:29,350 --> 00:13:31,890
Max, Johnny.

225
00:13:32,062 --> 00:13:35,192
-I can't get into the party.
-Come here.

226
00:13:35,856 --> 00:13:37,436
HAN:
Help me out.

227
00:13:37,609 --> 00:13:41,449
Seriously. That doorman is a beyotch.

228
00:13:45,115 --> 00:13:46,155
Okay, so, uh....

229
00:13:49,995 --> 00:13:52,995
-Wait, what are we doing?
-Making out in a room full of candy.

230
00:13:53,165 --> 00:13:54,705
Right.

231
00:13:56,211 --> 00:13:59,091
No, this can't happen.
I was gonna give you my suck-it face.

232
00:13:59,255 --> 00:14:01,005
Okay. Give it to me. I deserve it.

233
00:14:04,134 --> 00:14:05,974
Your suck-it face is hot.

234
00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:08,473
It's the hair.

235
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,060
Ow.

236
00:14:15,312 --> 00:14:17,322
(MAX GRUNTS)

237
00:14:24,489 --> 00:14:27,619
Greatest night of my life.

238
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:36,495
(CLEARS THROAT)

239
00:14:36,668 --> 00:14:41,968
Disclaimer: This is not my T-shirt,
though I am all about the "girl power."

240
00:14:42,798 --> 00:14:44,968
Disclaimer: It's not my T-shirt either.

241
00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:48,224
Some nerd left it in the dryer
at the Laundromat.

242
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:50,308
It's mine.

243
00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:52,640
Girl power.

244
00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:54,603
No way.

245
00:14:54,769 --> 00:14:57,109
No way, do I smell chocolate chips?

246
00:14:57,272 --> 00:14:59,692
And is Uncle Andy making pancakes?

247
00:15:00,191 --> 00:15:02,071
You do and I am.

248
00:15:02,485 --> 00:15:07,365
Dude, I don't know you,
but chocolate-chip pancakes are the balls.

249
00:15:08,073 --> 00:15:09,373
How did you two sleep?

250
00:15:09,533 --> 00:15:11,493
Did we sleep?

251
00:15:11,660 --> 00:15:13,500
Great, so what's gonna happen now?

252
00:15:14,496 --> 00:15:17,166
I meant today at the shop.
Our big first day in business.

253
00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:19,213
You thought I was talking about
you two? Pbbt.

254
00:15:19,376 --> 00:15:22,166
I don't care about you two. Pbbt.
Nobody cares about you two.

255
00:15:22,838 --> 00:15:25,628
Well, first we have to clean
the party mess up.

256
00:15:25,799 --> 00:15:28,679
Andy and I did it last night
when you didn't come back.

257
00:15:28,845 --> 00:15:30,795
Um, can someone here mellow out...

258
00:15:31,014 --> 00:15:33,934
...and put some pancakes
in her pancake hole?

259
00:15:34,225 --> 00:15:37,595
No, Caroline, I get it.
It's been a rocky ride for Max and me.

260
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:39,610
See, when we met, I had a girlfriend.

261
00:15:39,773 --> 00:15:41,903
-Which he never told her about--
-Ah, keep eating.

262
00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:45,360
And because of that,
Max and I never really got together.

263
00:15:45,528 --> 00:15:48,868
Then that girl and I broke up
and by the time I saw Max again, I was--

264
00:15:49,032 --> 00:15:50,952
Engaged to be married.

265
00:15:51,116 --> 00:15:53,326
Yeah. Yeah, I was gonna get married.

266
00:15:53,536 --> 00:15:54,996
Wait, to that same girlfriend?

267
00:15:55,163 --> 00:15:57,673
Different one. Different one.

268
00:15:58,207 --> 00:16:01,497
That didn't work out either
and I've had a couple girlfriends since.

269
00:16:01,669 --> 00:16:03,549
Mm. Only a couple.

270
00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:08,467
Yeah. None of them seem to work out.
None of them are Max.

271
00:16:11,053 --> 00:16:12,303
Hey, save me a pancake.

272
00:16:12,471 --> 00:16:15,931
It looks like Caroline has plans
to eat them all.

273
00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:22,614
Well, Max, as far as your suck-it plan goes,
it looks like somebody sucked something.

274
00:16:26,860 --> 00:16:31,030
Pancakes, pancake hole. He's a good guy.

275
00:16:31,198 --> 00:16:34,698
Oh, yeah, he seems cool.
Kind of falls in love a lot, but, hey.

276
00:16:35,077 --> 00:16:39,207
And I did not tell him to say that.
He never does what I say. It's hot.

277
00:16:39,374 --> 00:16:41,134
"But, hey," what?

278
00:16:41,584 --> 00:16:43,464
Oh, we're continuing? Um...

279
00:16:43,628 --> 00:16:45,298
...I don't know, maybe I'm partial...

280
00:16:45,462 --> 00:16:48,672
...but, Max, you're an A,
he kind of seems like a B.

281
00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:50,431
Minus.

282
00:16:50,634 --> 00:16:54,224
First of all, look at me. I am clearly a D.

283
00:16:55,724 --> 00:16:59,104
And I don't think he falls in love a lot.

284
00:16:59,269 --> 00:17:05,399
Man, I love, love, love pancakes
and if I could, I would marry a pancake.

285
00:17:13,324 --> 00:17:15,374
What time is it?

286
00:17:15,993 --> 00:17:18,043
Ten-twenty.

287
00:17:19,873 --> 00:17:22,963
It's the first day.
All those people are tired from the party.

288
00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:28,205
Yeah. Oh, and look, we forgot to light it up.
People don't know we're open.

289
00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:32,184
In five, four, three, two....

290
00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:34,795
BOTH:
Whoo!

291
00:17:35,637 --> 00:17:37,807
Go to work.

292
00:17:43,354 --> 00:17:46,154
-First day.
-Yep.

293
00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:49,397
No one's here.

294
00:17:50,068 --> 00:17:53,358
Remember, all we have to sell
is 70 cupcakes a day to keep on track.

295
00:17:53,530 --> 00:17:56,530
Seventy cupcakes? That's not so hard.

296
00:17:58,368 --> 00:17:59,998
Maybe we should do the light again.

297
00:18:02,164 --> 00:18:05,674
In five, four, three, two....

298
00:18:05,835 --> 00:18:07,415
BOTH:
Whoo.

299
00:18:11,007 --> 00:18:13,007
What time is it now?

300
00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:19,556
Tomorrow we only need
to sell 140 cupcakes.

301
00:18:19,723 --> 00:18:22,313
A hundred and forty cupcakes,
that's not so hard.

302
00:18:22,477 --> 00:18:23,807
How many did we sell today?

303
00:18:24,354 --> 00:18:26,064
Four.

304
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:28,900
And all were to Johnny.

305
00:18:29,107 --> 00:18:30,857
I think I've made a terrible mistake.

306
00:18:31,027 --> 00:18:33,607
It's only been three days.
Business will pick up.

307
00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:38,029
No, with Johnny. It's different now that he's
available. Maybe I'm the kind of person...

308
00:18:38,201 --> 00:18:42,501
...who only wants something they can't have
and when they get it, don't want it anymore.

309
00:18:42,747 --> 00:18:45,957
Okay, but do you feel that way
about the cupcake shop too?

310
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:48,335
No. I love our cupcake shop.

311
00:18:48,502 --> 00:18:51,842
Wow, that's the first time I've ever said
I loved anything out loud.

312
00:18:52,006 --> 00:18:54,216
Except for Robitussin.

313
00:18:54,843 --> 00:18:56,093
(DOOR OPENS)

314
00:18:56,260 --> 00:18:57,350
CAROLINE:
It's Johnny.

315
00:18:57,511 --> 00:18:59,101
Well, I know what I have to do.

316
00:18:59,263 --> 00:19:03,353
Max, you can't change your mind
about him now, he's our only customer.

317
00:19:03,518 --> 00:19:06,648
By the way, I've always loved him.

318
00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:08,023
Hey, guys.

319
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:10,570
Um, can we talk in the kitchen?

320
00:19:11,401 --> 00:19:15,151
Wait, before you go, I just wanna say
that no matter what goes down in life...

321
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:18,120
...we are always open to your business.

322
00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:25,326
We're either gonna have crazy kitchen sex,
or I'm getting expelled.

323
00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:29,038
We're not having kitchen sex.
It's way too dirty in here.

324
00:19:29,294 --> 00:19:32,174
From other people having kitchen sex.

325
00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:34,125
So I'm getting expelled.

326
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:37,050
It's weird, right? Between us?

327
00:19:37,384 --> 00:19:43,184
Yeah, I don't know what it is.
Maybe it's an absence of a lot of candy?

328
00:19:44,308 --> 00:19:47,598
-But it's not the same.
-Max, Johnny, I thought I heard you.

329
00:19:50,272 --> 00:19:52,442
Max. I can't get out.

330
00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:56,108
Maybe we're only at our best
when you have another girlfriend.

331
00:19:56,278 --> 00:19:59,618
Give me a call when you get that going,
in, like, 10 minutes.

332
00:19:59,781 --> 00:20:00,781
(CHUCKLES)

333
00:20:00,950 --> 00:20:03,700
Or I could just call you
on my actual wedding day.

334
00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:07,409
Oh, cool. Yeah, just call me 30 minutes
before the service and I'll be there.

335
00:20:07,582 --> 00:20:10,382
Better yet, call me
at your 50th wedding anniversary.

336
00:20:10,542 --> 00:20:12,592
Yeah, now that's hot.

337
00:20:12,795 --> 00:20:17,295
HAN:
Max. Johnny. I'm cold.

338
00:20:18,884 --> 00:20:20,554
Kiss goodbye?

339
00:20:21,971 --> 00:20:25,471
HAN:
Seriously, guys, I can't feel my toes.

340
00:20:27,143 --> 00:20:29,693
See, it's hot again because we broke up.

341
00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:34,734
I'll see you at my 50th, if not before.

342
00:20:35,859 --> 00:20:37,859
(BANGING ON DOOR)

343
00:20:40,823 --> 00:20:42,123
First the party, now this.

344
00:20:42,325 --> 00:20:45,365
When I have a party,
you won't be on the list.

345
00:20:46,037 --> 00:20:47,787
You're right, I deserved that.

346
00:20:47,955 --> 00:20:52,085
No, I was doing a power move.
Please, I'm begging you to come.

347
00:20:53,502 --> 00:20:54,552
We'll see.

348
00:20:54,711 --> 00:21:00,881
I might be a little too busy with my
big successful cupcake shop, so suck it.

349
00:21:27,869 --> 00:21:29,869
English - US - SDH

350
00:21:29,919 --> 00:21:34,469
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